A severe case of Halloween freaks and followers plagued the lands this week.
Tonight, a clubbing invite from his friends netted him a chance to cosplay at the club's Halloween Costume Party...chances to win prizes, so he thinks. Alongside him, a number of friends who would join in his quest in wearing such absurd costumes.
Quite happy, in retrospect.
But...cosplaying in a club?
Is quite, out of the proportion.
To say the least.
Nervous breakdown incoming.
And the rain pouring outside.
Ever so slowly...
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Promises.
As her friends sat and lay their thoughts on the broken promises made by her, M's promises was also overlooked.
Such simple things.
But seems as though, she was breaking it all.
And he felt dis-likened.
And a bit of frustration sets in.
Both her friends, and him.
Their feelings are not to be left alone...
And maybe in a right mind and in due time, she would finally understand how much it meant to them.
Especially M.
Nothing has been said from her.
ばか。。。
それとも最低？
かな。。。
A part of his heart venting a strong anger and pain emitting within.
Wishing he could just forget it all.
The other part of of his heart wants to save her from it all...
She was indeed, the one that made M felt like he could spend his entire life with.
To devote his life and dreams with.
He was prepared to give it all.
Give a 200% effort.
But maybe that's too much...
邪魔だから。。。と思う。
In M's own words,
She would always laughed at that.
But maybe not this time...
Maybe not anytime at all...
"Would you remember me?"
"Would you keep in touch?"
"Would you read this blog when you're free...?"
Such simple things.
But seems as though, she was breaking it all.
And he felt dis-likened.
And a bit of frustration sets in.
Both her friends, and him.
Their feelings are not to be left alone...
And maybe in a right mind and in due time, she would finally understand how much it meant to them.
Especially M.
Nothing has been said from her.
ばか。。。
それとも最低？
かな。。。
A part of his heart venting a strong anger and pain emitting within.
Wishing he could just forget it all.
The other part of of his heart wants to save her from it all...
She was indeed, the one that made M felt like he could spend his entire life with.
To devote his life and dreams with.
He was prepared to give it all.
Give a 200% effort.
But maybe that's too much...
邪魔だから。。。と思う。
In M's own words,
"I can see the future..!"
But maybe not this time...
Maybe not anytime at all...
「一人しないで。。。」
Monday, September 26, 2011
A small diary.
A morning walk to the bus stop in Southbank, with his roommate 2 days ago.
Going to Noosa, Sunshine Coast.
Every step he took.
Every place he put his trembling feet on.
Brought a sad, painful memory.
That corner in the ATM.
The little chair by the bus stop that she sat on.
That milk tea that she always buys.
The chair that accommodated two of them in the park.
The red swing that he pushed her gently.
The walkaway that they threaded upon the shorelines of the bank.
Holding her hand genuinely...never wanting to let go.
In Noosa.
The bright blue sky shone upon him.
Bringing a slight happiness, a slight enjoyment.
A nice breath of fresh air.
And ice cream made him happy.
As the night loomed.
The stars were as luminescent as ever, as he stares up towards the moonlight.
Hoping that a star that was overlooking him...to be her.
A flood of emotions came without remorse.
Still clinging on, still trying to find a way.
And his shirt absorbed the tears that rolled down his cheeks.
She was like a small diary, that was in his pocket all this while.
Were his last words of that night.
His heart ached...so much then.
And even now.
A small diary.
Going to Noosa, Sunshine Coast.
Every step he took.
Every place he put his trembling feet on.
Brought a sad, painful memory.
That corner in the ATM.
The little chair by the bus stop that she sat on.
That milk tea that she always buys.
The chair that accommodated two of them in the park.
The red swing that he pushed her gently.
The walkaway that they threaded upon the shorelines of the bank.
Holding her hand genuinely...never wanting to let go.
In Noosa.
The bright blue sky shone upon him.
Bringing a slight happiness, a slight enjoyment.
A nice breath of fresh air.
And ice cream made him happy.
As the night loomed.
The stars were as luminescent as ever, as he stares up towards the moonlight.
Hoping that a star that was overlooking him...to be her.
A flood of emotions came without remorse.
Still clinging on, still trying to find a way.
And his shirt absorbed the tears that rolled down his cheeks.
She was like a small diary, that was in his pocket all this while.
"Wish you were here right now..."
"Wish you could hear my voice right now..."
Were his last words of that night.
His heart ached...so much then.
And even now.
A small diary.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Fell.
Today, M tripped and fell...
Laughter ensues.
And later, added another level of stupidity within him.
Laughter ensues.
And later, added another level of stupidity within him.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Edge of the seat.
His weekend was full of wonders.
Full of excitement.
Dreams.
A day in Sydney, left another great impression in the eyes of many.
A day in Brisbane, for a film shoot that left another impression on his eyes.
A request to be a male model for new clothing lines.
And an effort spent in writing a review on his laptop, garnered attention from the companies, and seemingly wanting him to write another review and obtaining a free laptop in the process.
Bringing his life to the edge of the seat.
And M feels he achieved something in his life, yet again.
But his health, began to deteriorate.
Began to mock him just a little.
His head, showing signs of headaches.
Signs of fever, maybe.
Finding it just a bit harder to breath.
Finding pressures of life, gaining weight into his already fragile health.
For a short while.
And he, mustered the courage to smile.
Even if his heart wasn't mended properly.
Ever since her existence vanished into thin air.
Without a trace.
Of no words.
A glitter of light only remains.
Of her.
Full of excitement.
Dreams.
A day in Sydney, left another great impression in the eyes of many.
A day in Brisbane, for a film shoot that left another impression on his eyes.
A request to be a male model for new clothing lines.
And an effort spent in writing a review on his laptop, garnered attention from the companies, and seemingly wanting him to write another review and obtaining a free laptop in the process.
Bringing his life to the edge of the seat.
And M feels he achieved something in his life, yet again.
 |
| Gilbert Nightray - Pandora Hearts, Animania Sydney 2011 |
 |
| Steampunk Officer - Across the Stonewind Sky MV |
But his health, began to deteriorate.
Began to mock him just a little.
His head, showing signs of headaches.
Signs of fever, maybe.
Finding it just a bit harder to breath.
Finding pressures of life, gaining weight into his already fragile health.
For a short while.
And he, mustered the courage to smile.
"You're still somewhere within my heart."
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
空。
The fleeting sky passes.
Always dreaming of waking up with someone special beside him.
Always wanting to share his sky, with her.
And her, the same for him.
Wanting her, to wear his lifeless and disheartening shoes for once.
Just once.
To see that his eyes only saw her reflection.
To feel his foolhardy emotions.
His idiocy in putting her as a priority over his health.
And keeping her warm with his jacket, his scarf from the cold nights.
Regardless if he himself, is freezing.
His unrequited feelings.
How his heart raced with time.
Trying to keep the pace.
How painful it is to hold her hands, even if they are gentle and warm.
Even if they were so close.
How he devoted a great deal of his soul.
Just for one moment's notice.
From her.
And yet, his shoes were still empty.
Not worn by anyone.
Not her, not once.
To think, that he was waiting for something explicitly happy for once in his life.
A different sort of happy, rather.
Someone he could spend his life with.
Someone that could heal his already scarred heart.
But she had already abandoned him.
Heading to a one-way direction where nothing could stop her, but herself.
And he could only watch from a distance.
Could not reach her anymore.
His hands tied to the rails.
Her mouth sealed.
The full-moon overlooks the night sky, tonight.
And he closed his heart, for the 10th time in his life.
The sky, floating away yet again.
Always dreaming of waking up with someone special beside him.
Always wanting to share his sky, with her.
And her, the same for him.
Wanting her, to wear his lifeless and disheartening shoes for once.
Just once.
To see that his eyes only saw her reflection.
To feel his foolhardy emotions.
His idiocy in putting her as a priority over his health.
And keeping her warm with his jacket, his scarf from the cold nights.
Regardless if he himself, is freezing.
His unrequited feelings.
How his heart raced with time.
Trying to keep the pace.
How painful it is to hold her hands, even if they are gentle and warm.
Even if they were so close.
How he devoted a great deal of his soul.
Just for one moment's notice.
From her.
And yet, his shoes were still empty.
Not worn by anyone.
Not her, not once.
To think, that he was waiting for something explicitly happy for once in his life.
A different sort of happy, rather.
Someone he could spend his life with.
Someone that could heal his already scarred heart.
But she had already abandoned him.
Heading to a one-way direction where nothing could stop her, but herself.
And he could only watch from a distance.
Could not reach her anymore.
His hands tied to the rails.
Her mouth sealed.
The full-moon overlooks the night sky, tonight.
And he closed his heart, for the 10th time in his life.
The sky, floating away yet again.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
A movie.
Never would he think that he'll be an actor in a movie.
Seemingly today, he had an offer to play a part in a professional music video production featuring Steampunk characters; a genre of cosplayers dressed in a futuristic lifestyle of the Industrial age.
The director, Mr Ged Maybury, a famous New-Zealand author of children's books and steampunk genres, happily offered M, a chance to be in his music video made for his book publications.
Intriguing. Fascination.
Covered his blanketed mind.
And him, becoming increasingly nervous.
Set to film next Sunday.
Right after his trip to Sydney.
Exit-23 Productions, Across the Stonewind Sky:
http://www.pozible.com.au/index.php/archive/index/1107/description/0/0#info
Couriermail News Report:
http://www.couriermail.com.au/questnews/logan/duo-on-hunt-for-location-for-steampunk-music-video/story-fn8m0u8i-1226087759897
He thought.
As his mind squanders off into a fragment of memories about her...although small..
His feelings, still in a confused state.
And him, still quietly & patiently waiting...
But with increasing regrets and a slight resentment towards her.
Seemingly today, he had an offer to play a part in a professional music video production featuring Steampunk characters; a genre of cosplayers dressed in a futuristic lifestyle of the Industrial age.
The director, Mr Ged Maybury, a famous New-Zealand author of children's books and steampunk genres, happily offered M, a chance to be in his music video made for his book publications.
 |
| Intro to Steampunk |
Intriguing. Fascination.
Covered his blanketed mind.
And him, becoming increasingly nervous.
Set to film next Sunday.
Right after his trip to Sydney.
Exit-23 Productions, Across the Stonewind Sky:
http://www.pozible.com.au/index.php/archive/index/1107/description/0/0#info
Couriermail News Report:
http://www.couriermail.com.au/questnews/logan/duo-on-hunt-for-location-for-steampunk-music-video/story-fn8m0u8i-1226087759897
"Across the sky..."
He thought.
As his mind squanders off into a fragment of memories about her...although small..
His feelings, still in a confused state.
He muttered to himself."What was I in her life."
And him, still quietly & patiently waiting...
But with increasing regrets and a slight resentment towards her.
More than just one life.
Today, he had a thought.
A silly discussion with 2 girls who had a secret crush on him, opened up his world.
Realising that he was in fact, quite desirable by the standards of many.
Realising that his life, his personality, garnered interest to quite a staggering number of people.
Whom they would devote their lives to.
Whom they see M to be something they would cherish their lives with.
But his mind was narrow, just one sided.
Pessimistic about himself, less confident about himself.
And failed to see the potential.
M felt he has yet to understand himself.
And now, wanting to have more than just one life.
A silly discussion with 2 girls who had a secret crush on him, opened up his world.
Realising that he was in fact, quite desirable by the standards of many.
Realising that his life, his personality, garnered interest to quite a staggering number of people.
Whom they would devote their lives to.
Whom they see M to be something they would cherish their lives with.
But his mind was narrow, just one sided.
Pessimistic about himself, less confident about himself.
And failed to see the potential.
M felt he has yet to understand himself.
And now, wanting to have more than just one life.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Wind.
The wind was at its peak today.
The brightly toned sky contrasted the denying wind, that nearly blew M off his feet.
A punishment for being light.
But, the somewhat unforgiving wind did not stop the two from having an insignificant afternoon.
Together.
A delightful sweet taste of pancakes that M made the day before, for her.
Turned into something more, maybe.
A lunch with her.
And she had an innocent aura surrounding her.
Complexity. Mysterious. Unpredictable.
An elegant stature.
But grateful nonetheless.
She said.
The wind carelessly blew her hair to the side.
And he smiled, quietly.
But still, his heart was wavering.
Still a lost child.
Still fragile and thin.
Maybe.
But.
The power of pancakes, not to be underestimated.
The brightly toned sky contrasted the denying wind, that nearly blew M off his feet.
A punishment for being light.
But, the somewhat unforgiving wind did not stop the two from having an insignificant afternoon.
Together.
A delightful sweet taste of pancakes that M made the day before, for her.
Turned into something more, maybe.
A lunch with her.
And she had an innocent aura surrounding her.
Complexity. Mysterious. Unpredictable.
An elegant stature.
But grateful nonetheless.
"Thanks for today."
She said.
The wind carelessly blew her hair to the side.
And he smiled, quietly.
But still, his heart was wavering.
Still a lost child.
Still fragile and thin.
Maybe.
But.
The power of pancakes, not to be underestimated.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Colours.
There are times where one has to stop devoting into something, ever so seriously.
And M has reached that conclusion.
His mouth has sealed itself.
The once beautiful memories, kept in the corner.
In a locked box, the key thrown away.
The origami, loses its colours.
But somehow, safely kept inside.
And that origami, always looking somewhere else.
Someone else.
Trying to fly away from her corner, back to a supposedly confused, unsure, "comforting" arm.
Ignoring the shadow that was there to save her, guide her.
Which what he had hoped for.
And he returned to his lifeless routine.
He whispered to himself...
And M has reached that conclusion.
His mouth has sealed itself.
The once beautiful memories, kept in the corner.
In a locked box, the key thrown away.
The origami, loses its colours.
But somehow, safely kept inside.
And that origami, always looking somewhere else.
Someone else.
Trying to fly away from her corner, back to a supposedly confused, unsure, "comforting" arm.
Ignoring the shadow that was there to save her, guide her.
Which what he had hoped for.
And he returned to his lifeless routine.
"Ciao..."
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Monday, September 5, 2011
Save him.
"Save him."Is what his heart had whispered to the silent air.
His gaping heart, in need of resuscitation.
A near death state.
Right now.
He needs someone to save him.
Right now.
And M entered a hiatus...in his life.
And his heart, crushed to millions of pieces.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
5:46am
He could not bring himself to sleep, yet again.
And she has yet to say a word to him...
The time now is 5:46am.
And she has yet to say a word to him...
The time now is 5:46am.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Song for...
「これからの未来を託そう
力なくとも声かれても届かなくとも この歌を歌うよ
もし願い叶うなら もう一度花咲かせて
今なら君の哀しみもきっと 受け止められるから
星輝く空の下 もう二度と枯れない花
咲かせる未来(あす)をここに誓うから
“I promise I make you happy.”」
Even though I am powerless.
Even if my voice withers.
Even if it will not reach you.
I'll continue singing this song.
If my wishes will come true, I will make the flowers bloom again.
I think I can finally catch it, even your sadness.
Under the starry sky, a flower that will never again wilt.
I will swear, our soon to bloom future right here,
"I promise I'll make you happy."
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