That idiot.

His world turned upside down today.
And his mood isn't the best without knowing the reason why.

He waited for her late night, only to be thrown away to the side.
Still unknown to her, his reason for visiting her so late.
His reason for being ever so kind.
His reason for making her special tasting foods.
His reason for playing her guitar on his birthday.
And they parted ways without goodbyes.

But, he gave it all till the end.

"I came here for you...!"

He shouted, and never looked back.



And in 20 minutes, another idiot's birthday venturing near...
The idiot's blind facade and vision, could not see that he was always there for her.
But now, M turned away.
Nothing was left to be said.
Nothing was left to be done.

He gave everything for her, but she could not see it at all.
The idiot.
That made his life so special.
At one point...he does not remember.
Couldn't recall.

Both now, both of them deemed unworthy.
His anger, slowly rising.
His sadness, slowly filling up alongside the emptiness.

23.

For what it's worth.

His friends held a surprise party for him.
Completely fooled.
His heart rested, and loved by everyone.
And really appreciated their kindness.
Their feelings.
And the whipcream to the face.

The silent corridors and hallways of the University, paved way for the both of them.
Quietly tracing footsteps.
Quietly making their way through.
He called her out after the party.
Just a moment's glimpse.
Just a moment's time.
And quietly, he strummed the guitar.
For her.
And held her hand quietly. Smooth, untouched.
And yet, her feelings unknown.

On the other hand, everyone else wished him from around the world.
But.
Certain people, disregard him.
Threw him off their lives.
Their memories erased.
Of what was left of him.

An ounce of tears kept hidden.
Happy but sad.
Truthfully.

And he is 23.

Black Mage, Part III.

EB Games Expo 2011, Gold Coast, Australia.

Ari & the Patrick Starfish

Covering songs last year.

Youtube Channel.

Some songs below:

 

Ghilbli.

Ghilbli.

A spawn of movies from the same studio, bringing forth a portrayal of life that brought calmness in his heart. And he finally had the chance to view 3 masterpieces in one day, after his cosplay.

隣のトトロ

The night loomed, and she waved an early goodbye.
Walking alone in the drenched roads, dark alleys.
And M watched her nimble footsteps made their way into the shadows.

He dropped his consciousness, his mind blanketed itself from the night sky.
And he hastily ran for her.
To stay for just a little more.

His actions rendered her paralysed for a moment.

"Why did you come..?!"

She shouted, somewhat angrily.

"Oh, nothing...I just felt like it."

He jokingly replied.
He felt some resentment from her words.
And he left her with an unsightly expression.
A failed expression.

However, much to his surprise.

"It was very kind of you...thank you."

She texted.

Natural.

Natural disasters.

Something the human population can not avoid seeing.
Can not avoid happening.
An earthquake hit near her somewhat peaceful home and settlement.
And M, clinching his heart, held his worries.

But to her, his thoughts don't matter anymore, maybe.
He kept silent...felt that they were an obstacle to her.
Her attitude still somewhat cold...like the air around him.

"I really hope you're okay...safe and sound. Very worried about you. As always, like before."

"Wanting to hear your voice...all this while..."

Whispered silently to the cold, unforgiving air.
Wishing that the scarce wind would bring forth his message.
A thousand miles away.

But what was he waiting for...?
He does not know himself.

Coco.

Coco

His silly dog.

Like a drama.

The library.

The noise was unbearable with everyone around chatting their ways about holidays and irrelevant topics.

And he has much to think about.
And his mood isn't the greatest one.
Much of his luck went down the drain recently.

The lack of money hampers his plans. His cosplay conventions needed money, food needs money, paintballing weekend needs money, his rent needs money. Forcibly maybe...he has to abandon his cosplay visits for now. And now, he, in search of a part-time job yet again...a waiter or a kitchen hand.

Assignment wise, a multitude of them piling up as pressures of life. Currently at this point of writing, his group members failings have decided to take a toll on M; writing 85% of the report for 4 members...isn't what he had in mind. And their innate ability to not show up together in group meetings or making excuses, somewhat making him increasingly angry. And after an hour waiting, none of them decided to turn up.

Failing University was also another problem and burdening his parents. He does not want to...but it seems, the increasing standards of work making life harder than it is already. Failing might be a reality.

And to top that, his health is deteriorating and becoming somewhat weak and frail. His mind concurred a standing resolution of jealousy and anger, love and hate. His heart still not mended, still broken. His "soul-mate" sealing her heart ever so well, and still no words.

Who would be there to save him now?
To provide a shoulder to hang on to.
To give him a burst of good luck.
To motivate him...and mend his heart.

And he ponders...with a headache.
Like a drama.

Misconception of realities.

October.

Turning a year older, later.
Maybe.
And her too.
ばか。

Somewhat contemplating.
Wanting to give her a small present.
Dropping something so insignificant into her mailbox.
Wanting to celebrate with her.
To be beside her then.
But the silent barrier between M and her was at its peak.
Truly, he wishes to give more than what her boyfriend has given.
But, as it stands.
Her broken promises still made its way through.
His messages, his feelings, did not made its way through.
And there is nothing he can do but watch.


Watching her from afar.
Watching as the time stops vigilantly, for the both of them.