So far.

So far, M is content. Mid semester break serves as a well earned rest from a tired ridden M. He met the girl who started it all; his emotions, his guitar, his basketball, his personality. He said what he needed to say.

"Thanks. For making me into what I am now. Thanks for everything."

And today, his Japanese class brought him out to the beach. New friends, new stories, new hopes. This week will be a busy day for him, as he is behind in his work...and his social life.

Unable.

The words did not come out.

With this, an ever ending sense of responsibility and heavy emotions still lingers, and delays added to his premonitions and future.

His perspective of the whole situation, she does not know.
His side of the story, she does not know.
His parity, she does not know.

Oh how much does he want to express it and say,

"Thanks for the fun, over and done. Time to move on, I guess."

So says the heart.

It aches. Right now.

Moe。。。

For 2 days straight, M watched 電車男 (Densha Otoko), and it became his favourite Japanese TV Drama, not only because of its good acting and cast, but because of its relation to the actual story in real life. Every episode made him laughed so hard. Every episode has its sentimental values. Most of all, it made him cry in the end.

It's hard to think that such a man, was blessed with such amazing story true story, while M here has a love story that dwindles the heart, stops blood flowing, and fills a bucket of tears. Watching the drama, made his whole body froze...then his eyes sunk deep into the exchange girl student and her university picture that was kept beside him.

What is she doing now ? Is she thinking about him? What did she do with that gift he gave?

The mist clouded his vision...an unbearable pain came, and a different person; a cold, heartless girl came into his mind. The process of forgetting someone seems like an eternal time in hell...so he thinks.

For all honesty, M just wants a person that doesn't treat him like an ass, relief him from his utter desparity, and never leave his side.

Miracles. They don't happen do they...


「じつ に、もえです。。。」

Heartwarming.

The past week filled M with high hopes, high feelings, and emotional values. From out of nowhere, that one person stole his heart away, and in an instant, she left and went back to her university in Japan. She was an exchange student, a very interesting one.

Nonetheless, she made it seem like everything M did before was a dream, and was quite sad when she departed. Crazy things people do when they're in love; wake up at 4AM to see the exchange students off at the campus then going to the beach later that day is one of them , and the day before, going to Sea World & Gold Coast when 3 reports and a project were due in a few days, is another crazy idea. A week zoomed by just like that; countless of memories made with a meeting so short, so sudden but full of heartfelt emotions.

Before she left, M gave her a going away present. Not much, but hopefully she'll remember him in the future...wish she had stayed longer, M thought. He kept getting her name wrong though, but that always brought a nice smile from her.

And to the rest, they were a great bunch. The students came at the right time, where M was going to breakdown, and with that they empowered his confidence.

Kobe Daigaku, 2010.

Lies.

A tired fallen M, barely woke up today. Recent events in summary; a lost phone, a friend who lost his job and house, more songs to practice and remember for his new job, 2 mid-sem exams finished, a cousin that came without any notice, 27 Japanese exchange students that came, conquer and will play basketball with him tommorow.

But to all top that, a lie told by her. Distancing yourself from guys? Yeah, more like from just M himself. He wishes he didn't ask her to sing in the first place; painful, endearing, regret. Everytime he sees her, the world falls apart, the sky turns black. And yet, there's a faint of light in the midst of chaos and depression.

Exaggerated? No not really.

But weekend's all about Byron bay! Meeting his old friends, and an escape.

Distance.

His journey ended yesterday.
Devoid of all feelings.
Cruel reality cut down like a quick frostbite.
He knew she was going to say so, and his time stopped right there and then.
Now he, in search for a shoulder to hang on to.

Doubts.

For the first time ever, he has doubts in his heart. Some flair came by and nearly swept his feet off the ground; that flair was really interesting, nice, and nearly caught his heart today. She was interesting. But how far does it lead to?

However, he has to settle something...something he'd longed for in over 10 years...someone to be with.